Hey New Jersey...

Do any of you have homes, or do you all just perpetually drive from mall to mall while talking on your cell phone?

Hey New Jersey...

who chose the ugliest shade of yellow possible for you license plates? Are you compelled to be the most offensive to all 5 senses as often as possible?

Hey New Jersey...

I think you have a good chance of eliminating world hunger if you can somehow harvest the infinite number of deer that seem to wander onto your poorly lit roads.

Hey New Jersey...

did you know that it's not normal for your grocery stores and restaurants to be out of normal items? Do you all collectively hunger for carrots or are you all too lazy to keep accurate grocery stocks?

Hey New Jersey...

did you know that when an ambulance, fire truck, police car, or any other important vehicle is trying to pass you to save other peoples lives you should pull over to the right? Oh, you did know...you just think getting to Walmart 15 seconds faster is more important...Everyday you make me lose a little more of my faith in humanity.

Hey New Jersey...

turning left as soon as the light changes in front of oncoming traffic isn't legal, maybe if more of you knew this less of you would have such extensive side panel damage.

Hey New Jersey...

did you know that the point of lines painted in parking lots is to give you something to position your car in between?